Enough
There’s something that keeps coming up in my work with young Christians that amuses and saddens me in equal measure: almost all of them are laden with guilt over their devotional life. Without fail, whenever I sit with a group and ask them where they’re at in their faith, or how their walk with God is going, there are always two or three who shuffle a bit awkwardly before mumbling that they don’t pray and read the bible enough.
What I find so funny and tragic about this statement is - if you think about it - its ridiculous. How much is enough? Did Jesus feel he spent enough time with God?! What is the magical number of seconds necessary? Or is it a question of quality not quantity - in which case how do you determine what counts as better or worse? Its like we imagine that God has a cosmic, duel-aspect, marking system which he uses to rate us on the “Effort” we put in and the “Excellence” of what we can produce during the time we choose to spend with him.
Well enough is enough. Enough guilt. Enough being burdened by obligation. Enough talking about what may or may not be enough. Enough!
Its not that I don’t believe in praying and reading the bible - both are essential parts of growing in faith and relationship with God! But if we truly believe what we say about Christianity - that its a relationship not a religion - then we have to stop thinking in terms of ticking boxes and start thinking in terms of our attitudes and intentions.
I recently had the unexpected benefit of taking some extended time off of work and as part of this break spent 4 weeks in South Africa. Whilst away I had ample time to eat great food, drink great wine, and spend extended time reading, praying, walking and generally hanging out with God. It was amazing! I felt more alive, more refreshed, and more in tune with Him then I have in a long time. But now I’m back at work. And there are lots of things filling up my diary. And so there are other things occupying my mind. And so its that bit harder to find the space and time to read, pray walk, and generally hang out with God.
Does this make me a terrible person? Have I betrayed Jesus in some way by spending lots of time with him before but not so much now? Is this something I should be seeking to address? Or is it actually not an issue for God - just an issue for me?!
To answer these questions, I want to briefly consider the nature of relationships and the nature of God.
The thing about relationships is, even our most significant, most intimate ones are affected by the rest of life. I speak to my parents on the phone regularly, which is nice, but not as good as going and visiting them. And visiting them is good, but the best times we have together are often the meals we share. But meals, and visits aren’t always possible. Similarly, I love to hang out with my friends but I can’t do that all the while. Sometimes the best I can do is keep up to date with their lives via Facebook, or send a text, or occasionally take the time to phone or Skype them. These quick fire, social interactions could never replace the joy of extended time with them, but do provide a way of expressing the value and appreciation I have for our friendship in-between times.
Sometimes, because of jobs, or family, or geography, or life in general, the in-between times when we don’t get to spend decent time together are much longer than we’d like. I even find myself thinking,“I really don’t get to see them enough”But these thoughts aren’t accompanied by feelings of guilt, but feelings of longing. In those moments my intention to reconnect isn’t built on shame, but built on the value I place in our relationship because it brings me life and joy.
Now, before you point out to me that our relationship with God isn’t necessarily bound by the same constraints as our earthly relationships - I know! Its true that we’re able to speak to God at any time, anywhere (although, thanks to smart phones, thats probably true of everyone else now as well!) but the point I want to make is that when we’re feeling the pull to spend more time with God, much like our other friends I don’t think God wants us to feel guilty, I think he gets it!
Whilst God isn’t bound by work or family, or time and space, we still are! He created us that way! He wants us to have jobs and family and a 3 dimensional existence so I think he’s happy to accommodate us when life gets busy. Its not that we shouldn’t try and arrange times to hang out with God properly, but we shouldn’t feel guilty if sometimes the best we can manage is a quick tweet-style prayer, or doing the spiritual equivalent of Facebook-stalking: watching that quick video, reading that short blog, listening to that podcast, increases and expresses our appreciation for him.
When it comes to time away from our friends we know that their feeling is much less angry and much more“miss you too!” God, I believe, is the same. That so well known yet so under appreciated story of the prodigal son should surely teach us this! Jesus describes God as one who, even after being intentionally rejected, runs out to greet his betrayer (in all their pig-poo covered stinky-ness) and delights in the chance to spend time with them again. Even if we feel we’ve really blown the whole relationship thing, God simply says“I’ve missed you too.”
Good ol’ Eugene Peterson, in one of his finest moments of biblical interpretation, captures and addresses this whole conversation brilliantly:
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Matthew 28:11-13 (The Message)
Surely, if we’re burdened by our relationship with God, we’re doing something wrong. Surely if we’re left feeling worn out and tired by our devotional life we’re not doing it right?! There is something unforced about our relationships with friends. God wants our relationship with him to be the same. Yes it helps to put some time in the diary and yes if we go weeks or months at a time without connecting with God we can feel less close to him but that’s never because he’s rejected us. Its because like other relationships, you can get a bit out of touch if its been a while!
Keeping company with God, having a devotional life, is about finding an unforced rhythm of relationship. One that is motivated not by guilt but is driven by the intention and desire to spend time with Him because we miss hanging out together. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have to force this intention and desire. When I get proper time with God, I feel alive and rested, free and light. And I could never have enough of that!
